I'm not one for being patient, and I'm not one for keeping secrets. Sonja, actually, said to me last night, "Mommy has big mouth." I think it was because, I told her to take a little bite, because she has a little mouth. But that's not the point. Is it?
The point is we're pregnant.
5.5 weeks pregnant to be exact.
Now, if you know anything about my thoughts on pregnancy; you know I'm a firm believer in waiting until 12 weeks to tell anyone. So, why am I telling you all here? Since, I already have baby and she's happy and healthy, I'm less superstitious this time.
With my Cupcake, I was all, "if I sit this way, am I going to hurt her?"
"if I do too much cardio am I going to have a miscarriage?"
"if I sleep on my back or tummy am I going to cut off her circulation?"
"if I tell anyone, god/goddess/fate will show me, I better not jinx it!"
This time, I'm not so worried about it. I'm really going with the flow. I'm excited, that I know what I'm doing this time. I already budgeted for this, because I knew it was a possibility {we pay our midwife out of pocket. Once we get insurance involved, they start telling me what I can and can't do with my body} and I'm prepared to buy a new car once baby gets here, since two car seats won't fit safely in the car we have now.
I also know that by sharing the news early this time around, I have the physical and metal support of the people around me. The first trimester is the HARDEST for me. or at least it was last time. Each pregnancy is different, but since I've already experienced a few quick waves of queasyness, I'm sure I'll get hit with a few "bad" days. And this time I will have more support for those moments since everyone is in the loop.
Now, you might also be thinking {if you know me in real life, or if you've read this blog for a while}, "I thought you were going to wait a while? I thought you only wanted to birth one baby." Those thoughts are still true.
I wanted to wait 2 more years before getting pregnant again, but there was a tiny opening in my life plan that allowed for us to get pregnant right now! So, for our anniversary weekend we didn't follow natural planning guidelines, we just did what we wanted. This timing allows for me to be postpartum for Emily's wedding, meaning dress shopping and wedding planning and assisting won't be inconvenienced. Baby will be 7-8 months old when we go to Europe in 2013, an age I'm very comfortable with for both the plane ride, and for baby wearing around all the beautiful cities. Our big move to Hawaii was slightly postponed, instead of 4 years it's looking like 6 because of some business opportunities, here, for Husband. So, having baby number 2 now, will make him or her a good age for the move. Sonja and new baby {which she's convinced will be a sister} will be a "perfect" 2.5 years apart, an age I've heard is great for bonding and closeness as they get older. And I get to birth with my midwife here in phoenix, which makes me really happy as opposed to trying to find one in Hawaii when we get there, where midwifery is not licensed the same {or at all, if I recall incorrectly}.
As far as only wanting to birth one, but adopt more... my thoughts are the same. I really, really didn't want to deal with morning sickness (notice the book in the photo?), wardrobe limitations, nor swollen feet. But my birth experience was really good, and I found myself telling Husband moments after, "That wasn't as bad as everyone told me it would be." {and just to be clear, it wasn't a happy go lucky orgasmic birth. It was a real, fucking painful, birth, I just expected it to get worse, but then, it was over}. I also have some over population issues, I was mentally processing. Like, why should we have more babies; where there are already too many and too many without homes? Then, I heard from one of my favorite sources, that actually, it's not so much an over population issue; as much as an over consumption issue. So, as long as everyone listens and doesn't drown my home in another dose of baby toys or unnecessities, we'll be fine. I would still love to adopt a few more, but that's a lot to think about right now and a lot of money we don't have. It also sort of feels like buying a baby, unfortunately due to the legal process involved. So, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
For now, I'm excited about growing this baby, sharing the early pregnancy stories, documenting the whole process, with all of you here and enjoying time with my only-child-for-now.
Happy Pregnancy Following!
-Jenn
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