Monday, June 18, 2012

D.I.Y. Resolving a Conflict

Since Husband's and I are about to celebrate 4 years of wedded bliss this week, I thought it would be a good time to incorporate some relationship and martial advice onto the blog.  Here are 10 steps to helping resolve a conflict within a relationship {although many can be applied to general life}.

1. Set a time and place for discussion.
2. Define the problem or issue that you're disagreeing about.
3. Ask yourself and the other person how you both contribute to the problem.
4. List past attempts to resolve this issue and why they WEREN'T successful. Don't make the same mistakes twice.
5. Brainstorm and list all the possible solutions.
6. Discuss and evaluate these possible solutions.
7. Agree on one solution to try.
8. Agree on how each person will work towards the agreed upon solution.
9. Set up another meeting and discuss your progress.
10. Reward each other as you contribute to the agreed upon solution.

While those all sound clean and useful, hardly anyone fights like that! I'm making more of an effort to maintain my calm when frustrated and come back to these points when fighting. It helps when the other person is loosing their shit to remain calm and try to follow this list, and eventually everyone calms down and something can actually be accomplished.


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