Breastfeeding Sucks {and other things they don't tell you about about the first week postpartum}

 1. Breasting is beautiful and natural and fucking painful. Every lactation consultant will tell you it shouldn't hurt. But they're lying. I've yet to meet a mom who's nipples were made of steel. And even after two years of breastfeeding my daughter and sunning them the week before the birth I still have to wince when my newborn latches. She's so strong which I'm grateful for, but that doesn't mean it's painless. The strength is great because she does the most with the time she has at my breast but my left side hardly ever eases up and were working on correcting that. It's a lot of effort to breastfeed. But I choose the pain over formula and I know by pushing through the next few weeks it will slowly get more comfortable. I don't want women to think they're doing it wrong because it hurts. With that said, don't deal with it in silence. Talk to a lactation consultant and make sure it's normal pain or something more serious. Get advice on various potions and latch techniques. Find support from other mamas and don't give up.

 2. After birth pains. So baby is out and the pain is over right? No. Sadly, no. After birth pains are the contractions after the birth. The uterus is returning back to normal and contracting. It feels much like intense menstruation cramps and they come frequently specifically while baby is nursing. This is because nursing releases Oxycontin which stimulates the uterus and causes contractions. This usually stops with a day or two. My most painful day was day two. My advice is to liberally consume cramp bark and use a heating pad to relax the muscles surrounding the uterus.

 3. Engorgement is natures boob job. Engorgement is when the breasts are so full of milk they become painful and hard. Like rock hard. Like boob job hard. They're painful and the only relief is to release the milk either by nursing, expressing or pumping the milk. It takes a few days for the body to figure out the right amount of milk to make for baby. Learning some hand expression techniques is very useful in releasing excess pressure, where as pumping will tell the body it's a "feeding" leading to future milk production at that time.

4. Postpartum Bleeding. Nothing is worse than making up all those missed periods all at once.  I am so over blood.  It's messy and uncomfortable and mostly just gross.  And it would, maybe, be okay if it weren't for the blood clots.  I can't think of anything grosser than looking in the toilet after peeing, only to find a blood clot the size of a small organ.  Gross, Scary and Normal.


anyway...
I'll be back with some posi posts later.  Right now, I'm thinking a nap sounds good though.

-Jenn

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Birth Story for Vera Basil

This is the birth story for Vera Basil Born at home Monday, March 11, 2013 at 4:50-53am...

Husband and I woke up at 8:50am Sunday morning, and took a few moments to ourselves before our daughter Sonja woke up.

Sunday is my yoga morning.  After our alone time, I got up and started getting ready for my 10:30 class.  I went to the bathroom and noticed a mucus discharge {with a tint of blood}  I thought it could be the mucus plug, but last time it all came out in one chunk and this was not as big and more gooey than I expected.

I decided to go ahead and go to yoga, although I noticed I was having contractions, much like the practice ones I'd been having in the evening for the past few weeks.  The only difference was this was not the evening.  I decided to continue with class and just took child's pose when I got uncomfortable.  I didn't want to miss the beautiful day outside nor the outdoor practice.

Bakasana at 39 weeks

Contractions or Surges, as I usually call them, were mild all day.  They ranged in the 2-4 pain range, on a scale from 1-10.  They were coming every 10-20 minutes.  I sat down and did our taxes while Husband and Sonja went to a spring training game with his father and brother.  I told him I'd call if they got real active but they stayed mild for a while.

Around 5pm I noticed more mucus plug (again slightly bloody).  My parents came for dinner after I told them I thought tonight would be the night.  I called my sister, as she was planning on being the photographer of the whole event.  During dinner and that evening the surges increased to 4 on pain scale, and I knew they weren't going to stop.  I just didn't know how long they would last.


I texted our Midwife at 9:41 and she called right after.  After talking with me she decided to come over and hang out until I got active. My parents ended up going home after 10pm ish, since our midwife was there and she was pretty confident it would be a little while.

While hanging out my sister and sister in law offered to help me make my postpartum yoni healing pads.

Around 11pm I decided to lay down with Sonja to get her to sleep.  During that time I had a few surges in the 5-6 pain scale.

Once she was asleep, {about 12 midnight} I headed out into the kitchen to talk to birth team.  There were more surgest in the 5-6 pain range but we talked through the fact I was scared for it to get real and once I just accept it's happening I could hurry the process up.  We agreed I could keep it pushed off for a while, until the birth hormornes really kicked in and forced it to happen.  I knew I had to just jump off that cliff but I was still scared of it.

At 1am ish I decided to get in the shower and use my birth ball.  Once I was in there, there was no pain. I thought they stopped! I stayed in there for a while, wondering if I couldn't feel them if they were still there... they were.  Once the warm water ran out I got out of the shower and laid down on the bed over a stack of pillows.  My sweet friend Diane rubbed my back and so did Husband.  They were both such a great support team.

Husband kicked everyone else out of room shortly after my shower.  He mentioned he wanted this sacred experence to be between the two of us.  And while I knew that was sweet, I really just wanted to not be in pain,  I didn't care who was rubbing my back as long as it was being done in the right spot at the right time.  It's really hard to explain to someone what to do when you're entering labor land and a fellow woman usually knows what to do better than a sweet husband.  But it was his birth too so I let him rub my back until about 3:30am.

The surges started to get so unbearable that I was screaming.  I woke up the whole household, many of whom had just fallen asleep.  My midwife's assistant, Danielle, came in to check on fetal heart tones and I rested as much as I could between surges.  It was probably a 7 on my pain scale and I noticed that my yell was primal with hints of grunting {indicative of pushing}.   Shell, my midwife, came in to check on me.  She laid beside me.  It started to become unbearable in any position.

She suggested Skylar check me. She said, I don't think he'll have to go very far, sometime like, "My thought is there should be a head in the vault."

He checked, and said he did feel a head.  But I asked her to check again because I felt like I was pushing without purpose. No progression. From pushing. She checked and said there was about a centimeter of cervix in the way. I was pulling it down with each push, instead of pushing it out of the way or waiting until it moved out of the way.  She helped to guide it out of the way, as I pushed and relaxed my abdomen I felt it slip over the baby's head.  There was a sense of relief/release.

Somewhere during that time Sonja woke up, she sleeps in the same room as us and must have heard me screaming.  She was so sweet and happy to watch.  She was holding my hand and loving me.  But I had one really awful surge and I screamed a little too loud which scared her.  As soon as I saw the tears I apologized   The surge was over and I was trying to calmly tell her I was okay and that the yelling helped it not hurt.  I gave her a kiss and so did her daddy.  He asked her if she wanted to go play with her grandparents in the living room and she said yes.  Off she went.

Once the head was in the canal, I was able to relax for a second. Shell told me to take deep breathe for baby {after I asked why and she explained fetal heart tones dropped way low and I needed to relax and allow baby to recover after such a powerful surge.  This is pretty normal and it's how fast baby recovers from such a situation that indicates what actions need to be taken}. My surges slowed down but were intense. Baby's heart rate recovered fine.

The surges gave me a few breaks during pushing.  I was able to ask for coconut water. I tried to consciously eat and drink because I was so tired I wanted to keep my energy up. I drank on my "breaks" and allowed myself to fully relax.

I was pushing so hard I peed.  Like all over the bed, actually on towels on the bed.  I tried to control it but I ended up pushing so hard I was pooping and peeing each time.  My support team happily cleaned it up before Skylar took over.  With Sonja's birth I was well cleared from a day of slow labor, this time was slightly quicker.  After a few tries of controlling it, I told them sorry, but I was just going to keep doing it.  They grabbed extra towels to put under me and all was fine.  Sometime in that mess I felt a gush, not pee.  I was sort of bummed for a second when I realized my water broke {no caul birth for me}.  But I was just ready to be done, I didn't really care and I was impressed with my body and baby for holding on that long!

Shell suggested if I needed the encouragement, I could feel inside to find the head and see how close I was. I DID need that and I felt the head push to the surface and slip back in once but on the next surge I was able to bring it to the surface and hold and push through. I could feel the bones of cheeks passing through. Once the head was out, I relaxed slightly through the next break and slowly pushed the shoulders and abdomen out. Husband was catching the baby. he had this beautiful baby half out and she looked at him and took her breathe but she was still in me.  He said, "I still don't know if it's a boy or girl..."

I can't believe Husband is "letting" me post this photo, but you can see her half in half out!

Shell told him something and I said "Don't touch her!" I didn't want him to tug, pull or anything. But she was explaining how to remove the cord around her neck.

With the next push I was able to get her all the way out.  "It's a girl," he said.  The whole delivery from head to toe was 4:50-4:53am.  When asked, between first breathe or toes out, I decided toes out.  She wasn't fully born until ALL the way out so her official birth time on her birth certificate says 4:53am.

Once she was out, I yelled, "Sonja" and everyone came rushing in.

We allowed the cord to stop pulsing and I delivered the placenta.  After a while of establishing breastfeeding we clamped and cut the cord.

She weighed 7lbs 12oz and was 19inches long.  13 and 1/4 inches head {a whole inch smaller than Sonja's!}

And here I am after 19 hours of natural labor with my Blue Corn Hot Chocolate {and placenta-couldn't even taste it} made by my midwife.  And on that note, I felt much much better emotionally and physically than I did after Sonja's birth.  So as gross as it might be I highly recommend it!

-Jenn

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My Thoughts on Hospital Births

I don't think hospitals are bad.
I think hospital policies are bad.
I don't think O.B.s are bad.
I think O.B.'s policies are bad.
Anything that can not differentiate between the needs of the whole and the needs of an individual, and the risks of the whole and risks of the individual are bad.

The midwifery model of care understands the needs of each of the individual women and the safety of both mother and child.

O.B.s have a lot to learn from midwives; compassion, normalcy of birth, trust of a woman's body.  And Midwives are lucky to have the resources of O.B.s for higher risk pregnancies; more fetal monitoring options, suctions and forceps devices for complicated deliveries, and cesarian sections for moms who NEED them (only, maybe 5% of women truly need them. source.).

I think every woman should be well educated on her birth choices and options, risks and success rates of her birth plan along with a well established support system for immediately following a birth.  My understanding of O.B.s and Hospitals is that, they do not fully inform their patients of risks and success rates of various procedures in the same way a midwife would.  I know my O.B. experience resulted in a total of 20 minutes out of 3 hour appointment with the actual O.B.. Whereas, my midwife appointments are about and hour long with 100% of the time with the midwife discussing concerns, risks and success rates of various topics regarding birth.

I think misconceptions need to be addressed along with fears about women's bodies.

From various conversations I've overheard...
A 10 pound baby is big but healthy and completely do-able by vaginal birth, contrary to one woman's opinion.
Working out does NOT create a larger baby. On the contrary, it strengthens the uterus for a faster recovery and less of a chance of bleeding to death via hemorrhage.  Also, repeat cesarian sections are more dangerous than vaginal births after cesarian.  In regards, to hemorrhage as opposed to uterine rupture, women are less likely to have a uterine rupture than serious hemorrhage with repeat c-sections. (source 1, 2, 3)
Drugs and medications are NOT the only, nor most successful, pain relief options for laboring women. A doula is a professionally trained labor suport person and known to reduce the use of drugs and epidurals for laboring women.  And there are many more positions, procedures {like acupuncture, massage and TENS}, and techniques to elevate pain.
Pain in labor IS purposeful.  It allows the mother to know how far along her body is progressing.  It is a message from the body to the brain that something important is about to happen.  It is beneficial to the mother's mental health to be present in the pain {as opposed to "checked out" via drugs} to bond with the baby, the baby's birth is what stops the pain.
Women will often defend their doctors by saying they {the O.B.} knows what's best.  But what is best isn't being restricted to a limited diet during one of the most energy using experiences of a woman's life.  It's neither safe, nor easy, nor comfortable.  Yes, if someone happens to NEED a caesarian they will need anesthesia and they may vomit.  But, in any other EMEREGENCY surgery the patient is rarely rushed in with an empty stomach.  That is just one of the examples where the policies for the whole, restrict the needs of an individual.

In short, I think each birth is unique and each requires unique circumstances.  Unfortunately, I've yet to see or hear of an Arizona hospital that is truly mama and baby friendly. I think each birth choice is completely the choice of the mother, sorry dads!  I just wish women were consistently informed of true risks and I wish more often than not they would choose the safest choice for themselves and their babies as opposed to what someone tells them is the easiest yet safe enough option.

That is my problem with hospitals; their myth of ease and safety.  What women compromise for safety and ease is actually safety and comfort.

All birth is work, all births are difficult and to pretend otherwise is setting up a mom for defeat.  Wether it's postpartum depression or the difficult recovery of an unnecessary surgery, the effects of a emotionally painful birth are much worse than the pain of childbirth.  No women gets an easy birth unless, maybe, she's worked hard during her pregnancy to ensure one.  So, when I hear women talk about their choices for a hospital or planned c-section; because "it's going to be easier {because of drugs or lack of pushing}" I just want to shake them.  They have no idea what they're in for.  Even if they've experienced the process before, they're still at risk for all the complications of their choices, choices few of them have been fully informed of.

So, to clarify though all my rambling; my problems with hospitals are their myth of ease, myth of informed consent, myth of choice.  If hospitals can take note of these concerns and rewrite policies, I think we'd have a lot more happy mamas.  I also think if you've found a hospital that supports you and your choices, no matter what, you're lucky; and I'd love to know where these places are!  Please, share them in the comments.  I also know mom's who are thankful for the hospitals that helped make their delivery a safe one.  I know I would/will be thankful for a hospital if an emergency transfer is necessary with my next baby.  But I do not plan on starting off at one, for all the reasons listed above and more.  I think for a healthy family, the home is where a birth should be, and hospitals, like for everything else, should be reserved for emergencies and complications only.

Disagree with me? leave a comment.  I'd love to hear other opinions. I know I ramble sometimes, but I just needed to share MY thoughts on hospitals and why I don't want to birth in one.  I hope anyone reading this understands I'm not judging a women who chooses a hospital birth, I just hope she's being treated with respect and care, like every mom-to-be deserves.

-Jenn

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Interviews about Birth Video and My Thoughts.

Here's a video that a facebook friend of mine shared, and I think it's really clear which choices you have when looking for a healthcare provider while pregnant.  And if you're choosing to do a hospital birth, there are different doctors you can choose from.

I really reccomend this video for ANY expecting parents, or parents or people who might be parents.  Very infomational and interesting.

Midwives and OBGYN's from roz mignogna on Vimeo.

I like how one doctor mentions 12-8 hours for a normal birth, but keep in mind that my birth and labor from first contraction to holding a baby in my arm was just over 36 hours...

Also, I think it's very interesting that one doctor mentions that they don't do VBAC (Vaginal birth after cesaren) because of the chance of inconvience of having a partner responsible for that labor while the other doctor says it's a no brainer.  By having VBACs as an option you are automatically lowering the C-section rates. 

I also LOVE how the midwife they interviewed talks about our resources here in the U.S. and if you don't make the effort to find out the complications of epidurals, c-sections or induced labors then you are responsible for your own complications and she (and I) have no sympathy for mamas who don't educate themselves.  You can google it for goodness sakes!


So Happy Informed Birthing and Video Viewing!

Recommended Pregnancy and New Mom Readings

These are the books I was recommended from various people to read during my pregnancy.  I wanted to share this list with you in case you know of anyone expecting or you're interested in the childbirth process.

1. The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer
This book was so influential in my decision to have a home birth.  Even if home birth is not an option for you because of comfort, finances or risk factors you should read this book.  That way you will be aware of everything that goes into a hospital or home birth.  Everything in it is cited from medical studies and medical journal with lots of emphasis on how to be prepared for what might happen in a hospital.  Statistics for Cesarean rates, complications of labor, how pitocin, epidurals and the like usually affect your birth outcome.  I really really recommended this book for a first time mom.   Giving birth is really scary and overwhelming, but if you know what you're getting yourself into ahead of time you feel confident in your choices during the labor and delivery process.

2. Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn by Penny Simkin
There is a newer edition to this book which I have not read, but what I loved about this book was it broke down each event or stage of what to expect, for the process of labor.  Not at a hospital or at home or birthing center, but in terms of what you're body does and what your doctor or midwife will do in certain situations. Perfect information for writing a birthing plan or for being informed before the event.  Very important information for any parent expecting a baby (both mother and father) especially for a first time mom.  I was recommended this book by a doula in Washington.  She read it while pregnant and it was required for one of her doula classes.  She is now training to be a midwife.

3. Active Birth by Janet Balaskas
I loved reading this book.  It has lots of really great information about positions to take during the labor process.  How to comfort and work with your body as opposed to lying in a bed writing in pain.  I found a lot of the information in this book helpful during my labor and I like the stretches and exercises mentioned for during the pregnancy.  This is a great book for any mom who wants to avoid drugs during her delivery, and even for a  mom planning on getting an epidural, this book will help with the very early stages of labor, and how to deal with pre-labor and practice labor pains.

4. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth (not pictured) by Ina May Gaskin
Unfortunately, I couldn't find this book while at a bookstore in Seattle, so I waited to buy it, and by the time I finished reading all my other books I had no desire to read another.  But I really enjoyed her guide to breastfeeding (below) and wish I would have read this.  It was recommended by that same friend in Washington, and I know my midwife has it on her bookshelf at her birthing center.  If you have the time to read and the money to buy this I would recommend anything by Ina May Gaskin.

5. Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding by Ina May Gaskin
I found this book SO helpful during my first two weeks of breastfeeding.  Before giving birth I met with a group of other pregnant moms and a lactation consultant (if you are pregnant you should do this! so helpful) and so I knew mostly what to expect.  But I noticed myself asking my mom and older sister some questions during the first few days of Sonja's life, some feeding sessions were really painful and I was engorged.  My mom asked if I had a breastfeeding book and I was like, "oh yeah, I forgot about it, never had a chance to read it."  She brought it into my room from the living room and I read it front to back in 3 days.  I learned how to hand express, what was normal, what wasn't, how to properly store milk, and so much more.  Really helpful info!

6. After the Baby's Birth a Woman's Way to Wellness by Robin Lim
Full of info about lactation, pelvic health, recipes, nutritional needs, exercises for you and baby, helpful herbs, bonding, postpartum depression, and partner relationship changes.  I'm still working my way through this one, but I think it's really beneficial to have a resource for the mother, a rare focus once the baby is out, baby gets all the attention, but moms need support and guides too.  They've just stated the lifelong journey of motherhood and although at times it can be overwhelming, I've found this information so helpful, sometimes I think parenting is easier than I've ever expected!

Happy Reading!

Momma Monday no. 24

Sonja is four months old today, January 24, 2011!

Here is our past week in review:

Footies! Pajamas from Danny and Janay

Monday was the only day I had to work this week.  Which is strange, because I think everyone else had the day off.  My students had finals this week, and I gave my final on Monday. The rest of the week was just Sonja and me!

 Weighing in at about 13 pounds (almost 4 months old)

On my mother's baby scale (from when she was a baby in the 1950s!)

 Learning how to play the xylophone

This onesie was made by my step grandmother at my baby shower,

 I like it because SLC was a home birthed baby

I took the above pictures on Tuesday morning while we hung around the house.  My back was in a lot of pain on the left side of my body and so we didn't do a whole lot.  I was avoiding taking any pain killers, I don't like depending on something to hide my discomfort.  And I thought with some rest it would subside, but it didn't and I gave into some tylenol that afternoon.  Too bad it didn't do anything!  

We're into Sonja's 3-6 month clothes now.  So, expect some new What Sonja Wore posts.  It's a slow transition sorting out her old 0-3 month clothes and making the switch. Some of the 0-3 is still fitting her just right, while some of the 3-6 month clothes almost seem too small, and others are still a little big.  We have been wearing the 3-6 month pajamas for a while now.  I think she's a long but tiny baby, so the other clothes hang off her while her pajamas are stretching to cover her feet.  No matter what size she's wearing though, she looks so stinkin' cute.  Babies' clothes are so freakin' adorable because they're so tiny.

Wednesday:

Potty Training.

My sister came over and helped me out on Wednesday, while I baked. She also snapped the above photo while I was taking The Sweetness to the restroom.  Is there anything cuter?

Thursday, I had my first ceramics class in over a year.  It was nice to play with clay again, but sooo difficult to be away from Cupcake.  I had let down twice during class and was afraid I was going to start leaking.  I left early to come home to a semi fussy hungry baby.  She ate and then I ate.  Husband cooks a great meal.

Friday, I met my mom for lunch and my dad happened to join us. They love their granddaughter!  They're always stealing her away from me.  Which is fine at lunch time.  It gives me a chance to eat.

After lunch on Friday we came home and took a nap.  After nap time, we read our usual books, including The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle:

Like mother like daughter, kicking our feet up in the air.

We also hold the page together.

We went on an evening walk.

We haven't been on family walks since I was Pregnant (and 1! time after that).

Friday night we had a friend over, while he was over, Sonja threw a fit and I had to go to bed early, but not without trying a sip of some amazing Prickly Pear Vodka (thanks J.P.). 

After sleeping for a bit on Saturday, I woke up ate breakfast and then headed to my yoga class.  It's a pretty quick paced class and I haven't caught up yet, but I know I have to keep going and challenge myself until I can keep up, since that's the level I was at before and (mostly) during my pregnancy.  After yoga we did some grocery shopping, I went over budget, again. Husband mentioned the cost of food going up internationally... hopefully my spring veggies come in quickly and bountifully. In the afternoon SLC slept on my chest while we watched Mission Impossible 3. (about that; our Netflix queue is way low, any suggestions would be appreciated!)  Anyway, I love when she sleeps on me like that, it's the most heartbreakingly wonderful feeling in the world.

Sometimes, Little Miss makes me feed her in strange positions... like this: 

We're both standing, she likes being vertical.

She was fussy almost all day Sunday, we spent the day at Husband's parent's house and Cupcake screamed when her grandpa tried holding her.  She finally fell asleep on me while the boys watched football.  I hate football!  So, I blogged.

Happy Motherhood Monday!

Momma Monday no. 15

This week I joined Eats on Feets in their global oganization of getting human milk to human babies! I will be helping as a c0-admin to the Arizona chapter on Facebook. So excited to be a part of this amazing project. I LOVE my Midwife and all she does for me, the community, the world. Shell Walker- you are amazing!

source.

Another interesting thing from this week is EC (Elimination Communication), so interesting! Diaperless Babies?! it's possible, people do it, and their home isn't covered in pee or poop. We're trying it! Basically, Sonja's been doing it on her own since birth, every time we'd change her, she'd pee on her changing table or even poop. We thought it was the whole cold air thing, that everyone says, but apparently it's built in to them, to not pee or poop on themselves read about it here. I'm going to order this book with more info; Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene. But, I also like this getting started info page; click here.

source.

The morning after I saw this online, I tried it when she woke up- she peed out of her diaper, then again later after I fed her, we sat over the toilet and I "sssss"ed and she went (with in seconds)! I was stoked, of course I keep a CLOTH diaper on her bottom in case she does go, but also I check it to see when she might have gone that I missed. I know I'm still going to have to change lots of diapers and I don't mind, but I LOVE the idea she's not sitting in her own waste AND that she'll be more self aware and self sufficient earlier if she's starting to be potty trained SOO early.

On day 2 of infant potty training and Sonja has only peed in her diaper twice! She's gone on the toilet at least 6 or 7 times and pooped once today (once yesterday) on the toilet. She has not pooped in her diaper today since going on the toilet.

Since early on, I was struggling with the idea of her sitting in her own poop or pee, we changed her frequently but I still felt like it was borderline child abuse having her poop and pee in her diaper. Think of this in terms of ANY other age group; when would it ever be okay to let a child sit in his or her own excrement for even a few minutes?? most diapers recommend changing every 2-4 hours. Later on their poop is smellier so you would notice it in their diapers, but breast milk poops are almost odorless in diapers... if you don't hear it, sometimes you don't notice it right away. Anyway, Husband is also super into the idea. He was skeptical at first until I had him hold her over the toilet this morning and I showed him the "sssss"ing sound. He was like, "No, Way!" Our families are poking fun at it and thinking we're being a bit dramatic, but who knows when the "right" time to start potty training is? Usually, the parents, the child and also more importantly when it works. And so far, it's working for us. Now I just have to convince the babysitters...

Stroller Update:

Remember how last week I declined my in-laws stroller present, yeah my husband showed up at home from working all day with stroller and car seat in hand. His dad brought it to work and gave it to him all assembled and ready to go. Don't get me wrong it's a nice stroller, I just didn't want it. But it's here now, nothing I can do about it. This little clip represents how I feel about it, enjoy:

Also, this week; I was interviewed about my home birth experience, here's the interview:

On a scale from 1-5 how would you rate your overall experience of dealing with a midwife and having a home birth?

5 being best? I'd give it a 5.

Did you encounter any sort of problems during your pregnancy and or birth? If so what were they and how were they dealt with?

I had several minor issues during pregnancy.

1. I had a weird pain in my rib cage, not from the baby's foot. my midwife suggested it might be a muscle tear or hernia and recommended I purchases a belly support band and try acupuncture. I did both, and they helped but the strange pain lasted until my baby was out.

2. I had a high ph in general but was sort of the norm for me, we tracked this when I would pee and she would check it on a test strip. We kept an eye on it and she told me to eat a lot of yogurt for the probiotics to protect from a yeast infection or U.T.I. and also to take some grapefruit seed extract. I never got a UTI or infection, so we must have been monitoring it well.

3. Once and a while I'd be "dehydrated" based on my pee samples, but usually I'd just drink some water right away and I'd be fine, or you can also tell when you're hungry based on your pee samples and when that happened to me she's cut me up an apple or give me some snacks. She always had the best food at her office.
What were some of the tips you were given to help have a healthy pregnancy and birth at home? Lots. I have a whole note book filled with her suggestions, some that stand out for a healthy pregnancy included eating more proteins (as a vegetarian this is important since you're supposed to get so much more protein while pregnant) she told me to try quenoa instead of rice. I had never heard of quenoa until being pregnant, now we eat it at least once a week. She recommended certain teas but not until AFTER 12 weeks. Walk everyday, that was a big one. Also, in order to do a home birth, the pregnant woman must be in general good health to begin with AND it must be a single pregnancy, no twins or multiples. For the home birth, we took a child birth education class from her midwife partner and she educated us on all the steps and processes of birth so we knew what to expect, in that instance; the knowledge was power, anything abnormal would have been noticed by myself, my husband, our midwife or her assistant. The abnormalities would be handled as they arose.

Why did you choose to have a home birth?

This is a long answer, I'll do my best to explain it simply.

We believe that the medical interventions, often routine, in hospital settings, decrease the human experience, meaning birth is a natural healthy process; in the hospital you are monitored for all things that can go wrong. often this leads to unnecessary interventions. Also, many doctors or nurses do not believe in the power of women and their bodies, many doctors and nurses told me I'd NEED to get an epidural, which have serious effects on the mother's and baby's safety and often lead to complications of their own including complications of breastfeeding once the baby is born. If you can poop or pee or get sick by yourself why can't you give birth by yourself. It's best to have someone who knows what to expect and what to do if something does "go wrong" but for the most part, even an unassisted birth will go fine. You hear stories all the time about the dad who delivered the baby on the way to the hospital. Babies come when they want, you're just helping to make sure it happens safely. Also, I had always planned on doing a natural birth without meds, inspired by my mother who birthed my sister Brittany this way, but when a close GUY friend mentioned that home birth was a great experience for a friend of his, I started thinking about it. When I got pregnant, I started researching it. I was thoroughly disgusted with the medical practices here in the US when it comes to birthing and decided to find a midwife to help us have our baby at home. I know there's a lot more to say but for now that's all I can think of...

What is your own opinion on hospital births?

I think, no, know hospitals are big businesses. They make a profit and to them, a birthing woman is just another paycheck from an insurance company. They want to get you in and out as quickly as possible, and they want you to believe it's for your own health. Mothers often go to the hospital right away, I was able to sit at home and watch movies in bed with my husband and eat and drink whatever I wanted. If you've ever been to a hospital before, I think you know which option is better. When you're at the hospital and taking a while to "progress", they give you pitocin to speed up delivery process (opening you up quicker), causing you more pain. That pain is often unbearable and nothing like natural unintervened contractions, but since woman are in so much pain they accept the drugs and epidurals. The drugs affect not only the mother but also the baby causing more complications because of heart rate issues for the baby, and epidurals can even cause permanent paralyzation or death (although, rare, it does happen, and it happens in the US more than most other countries). Often, once the mother has the epi and pain meds more complications arise and a cesarean section is the "only" answer. MAJOR SURGERY HAPPENS MORE OFTEN THAN NOT at hospital births. I did not want to spend my first 6 weeks of motherhood, recovering from MAJOR ABDOMINAL sugery. so I decided to do it at home, and if necessary go to the hospital under emergency necessity only.

Would you recommend home births to others?

I keep recommending home births to others! I blog about it, talk about, text about it. All my friends know how I feel about it. I would hope after hearing my birthing story and other's hospital birthing stories they'd see the obvious choice, but soo many people have been taught to fear their bodies and this natural process. So many times I'm asked what if something went wrong? my answer always was "my midwife will know what to do and she will keep me safe." and she did. I had minor bleeding issues right after the birth and she gave my body the tools to fix the problem, I took herbs and other steps to stop the bleeding, if it hadn't stopped she would have given me pitocin and if that didn't work we would have gone to the hospital. Luckily, the herbs/breastfeeding/going pee worked. Healthy women should birth at home, not because I think home birth is RIGHT but because those women owe it to themselves and their babies to have the best, happiest, most memorable birth experiences.

Were there any complications after birth that were rare or only specific to home births?

For me the only complications I had both during and after were;

1. Sonja was facing forward looking towards my tummy (as opposed to facing back looking towards my back), this complication can occur in any pregnancy, but only in a hospital is it often met with a c-seaction (ask my other sister Brandy about that experience). At home Shell (my midwife) was able to manually adjust her, she had patience for me and my body to adjust to what she was asking it to do.

2. Bleeding a little more than "normal" which I've already explained ALSO NOT SPECIFIC TO HOME BIRTHS.

As far as I know there are no complications specific to home birth.

Happy Momma Monday!

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The Delivery (warning REAL TALK)

Here is the Delivery story for our little cupcake. As a warning I do go into some detail about my body, if you aren't into that sort of thing or get grossed out easily you probably shouldn't read this... then again if you can't hand this little (LONG) post about the delivery you might not want to have kids either- it's a messy process.

On September 23, when I woke up at 6:30am to go on our walk I noticed my back hurt, and not just an ache or pain like I'd been experiencing earlier this month. Rather, this was like a back ache similar to my period cramps that lasted for 10-15 seconds and came every 15 minutes or so?? My mom experienced back labor with my sister and myself, so I I thought my labor experience might be similar. We went on our walk with the dogs. I got dressed, went to work. I tried to focus on the tasks at hand but had to take breaks every once and a while when the pain was more distracting. I was keeping myself busy with office errands. After going to post office and starbucks I called my mom around 10am to ask her if my "symptoms" sounded like her labor. She said, "Yep, I think you should call your midwife." I didn't think it was anywhere close to the delivery time, so I was hesitant to call, I wanted to see if they got worse or went away, but finally I called midwife around 10:15 just to keep her in the loop. She said it was probably just practice labor, not to be confused with pre-labor or early labor. She reminded me that this is usually a warm up session for first time moms to get their body ready for delivery. And, for some moms it does turn into labor, but it will probably subside sometime during the day. However, she did suggest I come into her office that night around 6:30pm to check in. After talking to her, I thought it was just practice labor... my stomach hadn't dropped (or at least we hadn't noticed it) and I hadn't lost my mucus plug or anything else that happens pre-labor. So, I finished my day at work, cleaned up and prepped my desk- just in case, and headed home.

Once I was home, I told Husband I thought it was weird the cramping hadn't stopped. But we both agreed it was probably just practice since baby hadn't dropped and I hadn't lost the plug. not moments later (around 4:30) I went potty and felt an extra releasing sensation at the end- I looked in the toilet and saw the mucus plug. This is NOT nearly as gross as it sounds. It looks like dried hot glue. I made Husband look to make sure, he was not all that interested but once he saw that it wasn't gross, he was like "oh, yeah, that's what that is..." It seemed a little too real at that moment, like, oh, shit, I really am going to have to push this baby out SOON, but in an exciting, terrifying kind of way.

Anyway, Husband proceeded to make some breakfast for dinner, one of my favorite meals. He made me French toast with bananas- something I'd been craving all week, and some potatoes. It was delicious but since he made such a great meal and then had to eat it, we were actually just a bit late with meeting our midwife. No worries though, I called to give her a heads up and she's so chill, she told us to take our time, she was still seeing other clients.

At the Midwife's office, I was waiting to see her and was still getting the cramping surges, every few moments I'd have to zone out and breathe through them. She noticed this while talking with another patient, and was like, "Are you still getting symptoms??" I told her, "All day- and I lost my plug" and she replied with a simple, "oh" and smile (you would appreciate her calm sincere demeanor that isn't translatable though text).

During our meeting she asked some questions, took my vitals, listened to baby, and followed the meeting by telling me to go home, get some rest, take some calcium magnesium, drink 2 coconut waters, an apple juice, half a glass of stout beer (this is not the same as drinking throughout a pregnancy, it was to help me sleep) and call if I get more active.

Well, that didn't work so much, the surges lasted all night making me get up at least once an hour to pee and poop. I don't think I've EVER pooped so much in my life! gross, I know. But, think of my poor bottom. I had to bust out the baby wipes and A&D ointment. so uncomfortable. The cramping surges stayed in my back but had the added sensation of needing to urinate and feeling like diarrhea cramps.

At 8:41am and I was still getting the contractions. Husband stayed home to take care of me and the midwife and my mom were on their way to check in on me. I was trying to remember to eat and drink, and baby was kicking away.

When the midwife got there, she chatted with me for a bit. I was poorly dressed and my hair was disheveled. I asked her when we'd know how far I was dilated and how much longer she expected. She ended up checking me then and I was at 3 centimeters dialated and my cervix was completely effaced- which she mentioned as being the majority of work for the bodies of first time moms. She told us, we should probably have the baby that night. She was about to give me an estimated time, but she caught herself and I agreed, I didn't want to put any expectations on the labor. She left, but told us to call her once the contractions got closer together, or when I needed her for labor support, whichever happened first.

Husband and I hung out at the house, we watched some movies on the laptop in bed. We ate some lunch. I pooped, every time I peed, which was frequently. Once, when I peed, probably around noon or 1pm (I started loosing track of time) I felt a secondary gush at the end, and it looked like something else had been added to the bowl, hard to explain- not quite water but a clear-ish substance that was diluting in the bowl. I assumed it was my "water" breaking, but obviously, since I had just peed, and it was in the toilet there was no way to be sure. After that, the contractions got worse. and worse. And, around 1 or 2 I asked Husband to call the midwife.

He asked, "Are you sure?"

My polite response, "Yes, I'm Fucking sure! call her!!!"

He was like, "Okay."

She showed up maybe 20 minutes later (really, I have no idea... my internal clock stopped working and I was in pain management mode) I remember standing in the door frame of my bathroom pushing my back into one side and my arms into the other to relieve the pressure off my back. I was also walking around and leaning on things and moving my hips. When she got there though, she was practically able to read my mind, unlike my husband who had to ask what I needed. With Husband, I had to request my needs; not so easy when you're trying to focus and breathe through the pain. She walked in, and pushed down on my lower back applying just the right pressure, and after that surge passed; she gave me a hug and held me through my next contraction. Then, she checked me and told me I was 6cm dilated, and that my membranes ("water") had burst and that our baby had lots of hair (in my dream we had a daughter with tons of black hair).

I proceeded to have contractions and walk them out, or sit on the toilet during them. I tried doing the yoga pose; child's pose and being on all fours, something I saw in my active birthing book (a position I thought I'd love), but by the end of a surge in that position, I was sure I was going to puke-every time. So, I stuck with the walking. My midwife also had me do a marching position in which I held my tummy up to support it and march knees to stomach. It was difficult and challenging but I know she recommended it to help relive more pressure than I would have otherwise experienced. I started getting really hot and the midwife gave Husband a paper fan- which worked surprisingly well, for me. He told me the next day his arms were SOOO sore, but he would have felt like a douche, stopping because his arms hurt, all while I was pushing his baby out. That is why I married him :) Also the midwife's assistant was using a wet washcloth to keep me cool and soothed.

I was feeling so much pain and discomfort during the later contractions, after one passed (maybe around 4 or 5pm) I asked the midwife,"How long does this part of labor last?"

Her response, as calm and soothing as can be, "It lasts as long as it absolutely needs to."

Of course she would say that... always with the perfect, trust your body and don't judge it or set unnecessary exceptions for it type of answers. That's why we love her.

Anyway, in my last contractions while on the toilet; I had realized I was inadvertently pushing (or trying to poop-but nothing was happening) and so I asked her, "Well, is it okay if I start pushing?"

She told me that I could, of course, sometimes rarely moms will feel the need to push before necessary but that she could check me again and see where I'm at.

She checked and told me I had just a tiny bit of cervix left to one side and she was helping to move it out of the way. I pushed each contraction- it was the only sensation that allowed the pain to reduce enough to handle. She told me I pushed the last bit of cervix out of the way and suggested I continue pushing. I was laying on my back in the position she had checked me in. Not the position I had expected to deliver my child in. I was all about the concept of squatting or standing or hanging, using gravity to pull the baby out. But once I was laying down there was no way in hell I was going to stand up and move during a contraction (which were now overlapping each other) So with my bottom and feet at the edge of the bed and my head on pillows that were resting on Husbands lap (he was sitting crossed legged behind me) I proceeded to push. When the midwife realized I was going to deliver in this position; she had Husband remove the pillows from behind my head and lay me down flat- so I wouldn't be blocking the baby in with my coccyx (tail bone). Once, I was on my back FLAT, I continued pushing and she was moving things around allowing for baby's head to pass. I pushed and pushed, but every time I'd relax to take a break, Baby's head would slip back in.

She grabbed my hand and had me touch in between my legs, and she asked, "Do you feel that, do you know what that is?"

I wined, "It's. the. head..." (p.s. touching the head in the birthing videos always grossed me out- but when it was my own baby and body, it was less "gross" more just kind of slimy- don't be surprised if during labor you do things you thought were strange, you are a different person in the moment and your body has control, don't set specific expectations, otherwise you might be disappointed when things don't go according to your plan)

In response, to me recognizing the head, she was like, yeah, so push, use your muscles to keep it here and hold it, then push again.

SO MUCH EASIER SAID THAN DONE.

She asked her birth assistant to get Grandma in case we wanted pictures... but my mom can't take pictures to save her life, she didn't even have a camera. I was so far gone in labor land, I could hear them talking but couldn't tell them, "no. get my sister to take pictures instead." Plus, I didn't mind the idea of my mom being in the room. But, my mom didn't realize why she was invited into the room (no one told her it was to take pictures). So, when she came in she started talking, "oh Jenn, you're doing great... really good... great job... so close... really wonderful job..." I politely and calmly said, "No Talking" although I wanted to say, "Shut the fuck up, can't you fucking see I'm trying to push a god damn human from my vagina?!?!??!"

Early on in labor I told my husband I needed silent contractions, he was watching movies on the laptop in bed with me all day and whenever I'd get a surge I'd say, "pause." as in, "pause that movie right now or that laptop is going through the fucking wall once I'm done...' anyway, once everyone was quite I was able to focus again.

Since I was on my back, she also told me that she'd give me a few more surges but then I'd have to go to all fours or squatting if I couldn't push properly... I was in so much pain and even though laying on your back is the worst way to deliver a baby- there was no way I was going to move.

When she asked me to hold my legs up and push and I yelled, "I CAN'T" in reference to holding my legs and pushing at the same time, everyone outside of the room thought I meant, I can't do this at all... but, Husband grabbed my legs and I pushed, and held, and pushed again. I felt the pressure release (at 6:05pm) and thought I'd have to deliver the shoulders and body, but apparently, her "little" head was so big (14 and 1/4 inches) her whole body slithered out with that one final push.

I was shocked, I said something to the effect of, "That's it? that's all of her? She's out?"

Then, I saw her little head. cone head. "Oh, Baby, I'm so sorry about your poor cone head." Every time I saw a newborn with a misshapen head I was like, "gross, their head looks funny, I hope my baby doesn't have a cone head..." and yet she did, because of me. my fault. and I felt terrible. I know, what a weird thought after just pushing her out and meeting her but I just felt bad... I went to reach for her and the midwife said, "oh hold on, still a little slippery," she didn't mention the fact that her umbilical cord was wrapped around her throat twice, and that while she was getting her un-slippery, she was also swiftly maneuvering the cord off her. Husband saw the cord and didn't say anything- I think they were scared to scare me. But I had so much trust in our midwife, even if I had known, I would have also known Shell could fix it, which she did. After she was done maneuvering all the fluid and cords, I realized I still didn't know if we had a boy or girl. I asked, "Wait, what is it?" or "Wait, is it a boy or girl?" something of that sortand the midwife responded; "You tell me." and held her up.

"Girl" I breathlessly replied with a giant smile and with that final bit of dialog she handed her to me.

Husband was crying and kissing me and Sonja; we were so happy to finally have her. Everyone else in the house rushed into our bedroom and smiled and oohed and aahed at her beautiful little face. And my sister did take pictures. lots of pictures.

I still wasn't done though. After baby comes placenta; the third stage of delivery. The Midwife noted that my cord had dropped meaning the placenta had released and that I would need to push one more time in order to deliver it. This didn't require nearly as much effort or focus, in fact, I held little Sonja in my arms and with a tiny flex of my abdomen; I felt a release. The placenta was out and Shell was offering a tour of it. She showed us all the mother side, the part that was attached to me- looks meat-y and then the baby side which was like a bag that ripped open (ruptured membranes = water breaking) and pointed out that baby lived in there for the past few months. It was amazing. Both my sister (I think) and maybe-someday-sister-in-law watched the placenta be delivered. It's in my fridge right now, which is kind of weird since I haven't had really had meat in my house for years.

Then, I was done, at least with the official delivery.

No birth goes perfect... and after maybe 10 minutes of delivering the placenta, I noticed I was still expelling liquid, I asked the midwife if this was normal (since I was covered at this point and she wasn't checking my parts any more) and she was like, "No." She checked my uterus (externally) by rubbing my abdomen to see how big it was and told me I needed to pee. Again, easier said than done. She gave me some liquid herbs (I wish I could remember what they were now...) in my orange juice and helped me to get up to go to the bathroom. I didn't. I sat there for a few minutes relaxing- but those nerve endings are so fried after birth they don't know how to work. All the while I'm bleeding (a little more than she would have liked). She offered me a squeeze bottle to administer some water in attempts to trigger a reflex but it didn't work. She gave me some more her herbs to tighten my uterus. I also tried getting Sonja to breastfeed to stimulate oxytocin production, but she was still in labor shock and not all that interested in my boobs (yet). Neither myself nor the midwife wanted me to take pitocin in order to stop the bleeding, how frustrating would it have been to go through the WHOLE labor and delivery naturally only to have to get a shot of the most over used labor drug AFTER the birth. Of course, as my midwife mentioned, we wouldn't have let our pride get in the way of my well being. LUCKILY, the herbs did kick in or the attempted breastfeeding worked, or it was the fact that I was able to get a few drizzles of pee out... somehow the bleeding did slow, and I was able to enjoy my resting time with Sonja, on the bed she was both conceived on and born on. (TMI? maybe, but how many people can say that??)

Once the bleeding issue wasn't a concern; Husband's family showed up to meet our Cupcake and take photos and I was feeling great enough to walk around and chat in the living room. We had pizza for dinner and people stayed over for a few hours. I knew I had to get some rest, but really I felt great.

I heard so many stories from friends about deliveries (which I am so glad I did, but the following might be too much info for people who actually know me...)

1. From our birthing education and a friend: Your vagina will look like an orangutan or walrus after birth, it freaks some women out. I didn't make an effort to look at my parts after delivery but from what I could tell nothing swelled too much.

2. From a friend and co-worker: You NEED a donut to sit on after the birth, everything is sooo sore you'll want to have something soft to sit on. I felt so good after delivery I was sitting on the couch and talking like no big deal- don't get me wrong it was uncomfortable but nothing unbearable and since I didn't tear (THANK GOD) I didn't have major discomfort. (I did use a little trick I found online though: take a sanitary pad, squeeze some witch hazel on to it and place it in the freezer, after delivery use these as your pads and they will soothe and replenish the damaged skin)

3. From various friends and family: You are crazy to do it all natural. You have to take some drugs (and most suggested an epidural). Nope, I didn't and neither do you. It feels awful in the moment and at one point I did think, oh I wish I did have drugs, or maybe something more along the lines; I can see now, why some people get drugs, but I don't have any at home. So I just had to deal with it... and I did (and so can you). And when I was like, I don't like this, I really really don't want to keep feeling like this, this sucks so fucking much, that's when I asked about being able to push, and you know what? It was time to push, I was able to be alert and aware of my body and I was able to trust my midwife and I was able to transition into the 2nd stage of labor- the delivering the baby stage, and I was able to walk and feel everything. I was able to control my body. If I had used the drugs (were they available) I might not have gotten these painful messages from my body, and I would have suffered a disconnect between myself and my body. In fact, as difficult of a labor as it was (with her being posterior and not spinning) I actually told Husband when I was done, "you know, I know this sounds strange, but that was easier than I thought it was going to be." not that it was easy, but it was manageable and do-able.

4. From various friends and family: Really? you're going to do a home birth? what if something goes wrong? Often these same people couldn't think of a specific issue, so I couldn't give them a specific answer. However, some of the issues I discussed with my midwife about what I was concerned about included, bleeding too much (see above to know what "would have happened") or what if the cord is wrapped around her neck? The midwife slipped 2 fingers in between the cord and neck and unwrapped - so not a big deal. What if baby is in breech or posterior position? Well, if you have a good midwife (like mine) she will help guide you in the most safest delivery and help give the baby the option of turning or spinning.

6. From me to you. Don't freak out if the day after delivery you pass a large blood clot, I was changing Sonja's diaper and I felt a release of pressure, and thought I was just getting an increase of blood discharge, but it was a large blood clot, about the size of my fist. It really freaked me out. I called my midwife and send her a text photo. she said it was actually quite normal and that my bleeding should reduce even more now. (obviously, you should call your midwife or doctor if you are concerned, but maybe this extra info will help you to not panic about this common experience)

7. Me to You. Pushing a baby out, feels an awful lot like pooping a baby out. Actually, a family friend asked me if I knew how to push weeks before. I was like no, but I assume I will in the moment. She was like well let me just tell you, push like you're pooping. Without this prior knowledge I might not have realized that I was inadvertently pushing on the toilet and that I was ready to transition into delivery. I could have been one of those women to give birth on the toilet- although, I'm sure my midwife would have recognized me pushing before I actually delivered the baby on the toilet- but now you know. Push like you're pooping.

In conclusion, a home birth does not require a perfect labor and delivery. A trained midwife will know how to CALMLY handle any situation, they will know when something is wrong, they will know what to do, how to fix the problem, or they will know when switching to the hospital is absolutely necessary. I only ever wanted to make one child, (and adopt the rest) but after this experience I know I could do it again, and I would, at home, with my family, without drugs.

If you're pregnant and considering doing a natural birth (but in a hospital setting) I urge you to investigate your options. As my midwife said in her post deliver home visit, "Even the roughest home delivery is a thousand times [easier/better] than a great hospital birth" and after seeing and hearing of my friends hospital experiences I know she's right.

Happy Natural Birthing and Home Delivering!