Wow, what a week it has been! This is week 37 or 38. As you may have noticed I posted nothing yesterday- how unlike me?! Also unlike me; crying at the grocery store while in the cereal aisle.
That's right, my super posi outlook from Saturday shifted to I-Fucking-Hate-Everything-Right-Now on Sunday. Well not exactly everything, specifically just grocery shopping and football.
I am not a huge fan of running errands by myself. It's always nice to have a partner in crime, who you can make fun of stupid people with and also someone to help you carry heavy things. Yesterday, I had neither. I started out fine, I went to Lux for some Velvet and Whipped Cream. Checked my Face[book] and then proceeded to start my day. I had to stop by Staples for work this week, so, I decided to get that out of the way even though it was the weekend. Then I had to pick up the photo CD from Creative Motion Photography. And finally, I had to go to Michael's to get some finishing craft items for my mom's late birthday present.
Once I did all that, I had to go grocery shopping.
As I found a parking space and reached for my reusable bags, I felt a sense of dread approaching. My eyes filled with salt water and I sat there, overwhelmed. I don't know what brought it on so quickly, but instantly I was mad at Husband for not being there with me- even though he just got done going in to work and was getting some much needed rest. I texted him regardless, letting him know how angry I was and how much I resented him for not helping me. He called back immediately but I was too busy crying to hear my phone. I finally got up the nerve to walk into the store, even though it took every ounce of my self-control not to just leave. I got inside and started shopping (with my sunglasses on to hide the tears- because only crazy people cry at the grocery store). I saw I had a missed call from Husband so I called him back, and he apologized for not being there. It wasn't really his fault but I knew he was going to be watching football with his dad and brother later that afternoon and I didn't want to be grocery shopping while I could be with him. But I was there. And I knew if I left, I'd never go back.
So I proceeded to get almost everything on our list, everything except for items they didn't have. By the way, what's with "natural" stores not carrying normal ingredients??
Sprouts, why don't you have puff pastry dough? Whole Foods has it?! Ugh. Frustrating. Now, I'll have to go to WF sometime this week so I can get it.
Also, what the fuck is with people just being overall stupid? Why must the grocery store feel more like an obstacle course rather than a simple shopping experience. I guess evolutionarily, it's still just as difficult to gather (and hunt) my food with all these idiots in my way... Wish I could revert back to just finding fresh wild food, but no. Industrial farming has left me with only one option: Grocery Stores, and sometimes, time permitting; farmer's markets.
Also, people are too fat to get out of the way, and yes, now I'm "fat" too; so I can't squeeze by like I used to. And, people just leave their carts in the middle of the aisle so I can't push mine by. Plus, people just let their kids run around with no supervision and they are misbehaving and in the way. I can't handle it.
I'm going to blame my inability to control the tears as a result of the pregnancy, however, the annoying experience that is grocery shopping will always bother me. And football too. I hate that stupid game.
Today is going to be better though. I'm not going to think any negative thoughts. I'm not going to worry about other people and their stupidity. I'm not going to focus on the bad, just the good. Just the amazingness that is this baby. This baby, who will be here in just a few short weeks, or really, any day now - as I'm technically home birth safe!! I'm going to look at my beautiful photos of my Husband and my belly and smile, like this one:
A Big change from when these pictures were taken to nowish (just 3 weeks):
Our Daughter's Name:
Or Our Son's:
Happy Mommma Monday!
p.s. I'm also waiting for this baby to turn around, s/he is not breech but facing forward, I'm doing my exercises to get 'em to turn to the back, but if you have any other suggestions let me know :)